


Kombat Salad

by KainWarheit



Category: Mortal Kombat (Video Games), Mortal Kombat - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Humor, it was funnier at 2am
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-23
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:25:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4856237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KainWarheit/pseuds/KainWarheit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shao Kahn has a hunch of something his young daughter Mileena has been up to in her spare time and creates a false setting to prove or disprove his theory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kombat Salad

**Author's Note:**

> I’m just gonna warn you guys this is just some bullshit basically putting MK characters in WKUK skits lmao enjoy ??? It was funnier at 2am.

It was a rather calm day in Outworld and being so, Shao Kahn and Sindel decided to treat Mileena, who was young at the time, to a nice dinner after doing a fabulous job in training. The restaurant was rather nice, as for Outworld standards, and the three were sat at a table, enjoying the small appetizer dish they had ordered.

“I’m telling you man, this salad tastes like pussy!”

Two men were sitting at a table adjacent from their own and Shao Kahn was irked by their rather lewd commentary. He looked over at Sindel, who only drew a silent breath, trying her best to ignore them.

“I don’t know what pussy you’ve been eating, but it don’t taste like no salad,” the second man bantered in return.

“No, man, all I’m sayin’ is this salad tastes like a big fucking pussy!”

Shao Kahn bit the inside of his cheek, trying hard not to just bash the two men’s heads in. He let out a quiet sigh of frustration, still attempting to ignore the table. Their banter continued and Shao Kahn finally snapped only after a few seconds more of it.

“Hi, hello,” Shao Kahn turned to the table, slamming his fork down. “I’m sorry to interrupt you, but I’m _trying_ to have a lovely dinner with my wife and my young child!”

“Well, I’m sorry sir,” the first man replied. “I don’t mean to offend you and your family. But the thing is, we ordered this salad, and it tastes like a big, sloppy pussy!”

“Well, I really doubt that it’s true,” Shao Kahn quick retorted with a low growl.

“It is true!”

“Here, try some,” the second man asked, holding out his salad bowl towards Shao Kahn. Sindel rolled her eyes and sighed. Simply to shut the two men up, Shao took the bowl, shoving a fork full of the salad in his mouth.

“Holy crap,” he muttered after trying the strange salad. “This does taste like pussy.”

“Shao Kahn!” Sindel cried, crossing her arms in frustration.

“I’m serious, Sindel, this salad tastes like a big sloppy pussy!”

“Try it, lady,” the first man suggested.

Shao Kahn held the bowl out to Sindel, who sighed and reluctantly took a small piece. After a moment of chewing, she raised her eyebrows in surprise.

“That…that tastes a bit like pussy,” she concurred.

The three men spoke in agreement of how odd it was, wondering between them how it was so and or what was in the salad.

“Can I try some,” Mileena piped up.

“Sure! Here,” Shao Kahn offered the bowl to her as she took a piece, chewing on it. She frowned and looked up at her father.

“This doesn’t taste like pussy,” she admitted.

“I knew it, you are grounded, young lady,” Shao Kahn said, slamming the bowl down and crossing his arms.

“What…!?” Mileena look scared for a moment, not wanting to make her father mad.

“I knew you had been eating pussy,” Shao Kahn explained. “And now I guess we all do. Say hello to Shang Tsung and Reiko from work.” He looked backed at the table, pointing to the first and second man respectively.

“Sorry, kid, looks like you’re busted,” Shang replied as both of them gave a small wave to the frightened Mileena.

“Now,” Shao said, turning back to Mileena. “How much pussy have you been eating?”

“And where have you been eating this pussy?” Sindel chimed in.

“I dunno,” Mileena mumbled, looking down. “School….the park….”

“Tanya’s house?” Sindel questioned.

“Sometimes Tanya’s house,” Mileena admitted softly.

“Well, you can say good bye to Tanya’s house for a while,” her mother remarked and the young Mileena pouted, crossing her arms.


End file.
